When it comes to women, we hear a lot about “that time of the month.” Not much of it is any good. Women are a mystery to many men, and, hell, we’re a mystery to ourselves much of the time. But I’ve been wondering why we can’t talk about the other “time of the month”: ovulation.
Ovulation: the time when our hips move a little more fluidly, when our voices become a bit elevated, when we wear more revealing clothes, when we look good, and even our smell is enticing. This is the time of the month when women feel strong and clear and beautiful. When women are ovulating, they can do just about anything. This is also the time when we women want to jump our partners—or any man passing by, frankly—and get down to it.
Yeah, why don’t we talk about this more often?
As in: “Oh, it’s just that time of the month,” says the sultry woman as she lays across a piano, dipping strawberries in chocolate and licking it off each one.
Who doesn't love to talk to people when they’re feeling sexy and free and loving?
An ovulating woman is a force. She has some kind of magnetic pull on people, especially men. She can, if she’s paying attention, feel this power. Not power over people, but real power. The power of knowing who she is and being happy because of it.
Maybe that’s why this time of the month gets short shrift. Maybe the feeling of wanting to rub up against strangers in the nearest alleyway is a little scary for some of us women. Maybe for some part of us, it’s easier to complain about cramps, about blood gushing between our legs, about bloating, and about wanting to rub out strangers and loved ones alike in an alley and everywhere else.
Maybe some men, too, are a little daunted by the idea of a woman acutely aware of her own sexual prowess. I’m not even talking about sex particularly, but there is, in some of us, a large fear of being wanted, being needed, by another human being. For men, the ovulating woman is a draw, but the question might remain: What else does she want? If she has this power over me, what else will she require? Which can bring about the terrifying and corresponding question: Do I have what it takes?
And there is that thing about getting pregnant. This little magical time of the month does happen to correspond with the precise window in which a woman will get pregnant if she has sex.
I will never forget a doctor’s asking me at fifteen whether I was sexually active. I wasn’t, but after he did his examination and asked me when my last period was, he said something that spooked me a bit, as I’m sure he intended it to. He said, “If you have sex today, you will get pregnant.”
I remember thinking, Geez, how does he know that?
There are just a few days a month when a woman can get pregnant. As my body became less of a mystery to me, I understood how that doctor knew. I’ll spare you the details, but think egg whites. As in mucous. This is the stuff of babies and middle-of-the-night pacing with a crying infant and diapers and responsibility, and, yes, people will really need you as your life is changed forever. Okay, I didn’t spare you all of the details. It’s good to know, though, don’t you think? Condoms are a beautiful thing.
So maybe that’s it. Maybe ovulation is scary and we don’t want to be that attractive and men don’t want us to be that attractive because we all know where that goes.
Yes, and…so what? What about fun and playing around and flirting and backrubs and oil and warm beaches and hot tubs and smooth skin and touching and sweat and tongues and cuddling and our song and knowing that little spot behind his ear and that great time at the bed-and-breakfast?
What about just having tea with someone who is radiantly, vibrantly, enthusiastically alive? What about that?
It’s worth paying attention to, that’s what. The fun and connection and beauty and raised heart rates are some of the things that make life worth living. Might as well live while we’re alive.
We can do this all the time, of course. And the older a woman gets, I think the more she lives in this natural place of strength. We would all be better off if we allowed ourselves and others to breathe life into the beauty, power, and force that is a woman ovulating.
Consider this the start of my campaign for ovulation awareness. If we’re going to spend so much energy on a time of the month, I vote for ovulation.
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