by Anne O'Connor
I am grateful…for the loving little black pup who took my heart with him to his permanent home.
And for video calls with my mother, who also took my heart with her to her new west-coast home.
For the general tenor among my friends of beauty-seeking and finding.
For the rigor of my MSW classes and for the seat among people who care about the world and do the tricky and careful work to make it better.
I’m grateful for the soul-deepening songs you write, record, and send me as you work them out.
I’m grateful for more support of people born in a body that doesn’t match their gender, even as hate and fear continue.
For 10 pm tennis-court forays. And rough drafts and collaboration.
For you showing me the world in a new way. For your ability to sauté and spice veggies into an incredible meal. For your love of cooking.
For the soft light aglow through the fall leaves—brilliant and warm.
For exquisite friends who are so good at seeing and...
by Anne O'Connor
This week I wrote a love letter to my community.
I wrote about missing you all so much during this wild time. And I posted it on my private Facebook page. You can read it below this post.
Some wondered if I was missing a particular person—a lover who was at the center of all the things on the list.
Let me just say this now: If such a man exists and he’s single, will you introduce me?
Reading my letter as a romantic tribute to a lover I long for makes sense. We are so prepped for that interpretation. And that isn’t wrong. It just wasn’t the whole story.
What I wrote is a collection of all the love that I have or have had in my life. And yes, part of that is a longing for a particular lover. People heard my heart.
I have been and am well-loved. That is a treasure I hold with tender and careful hands.
Love, though, has as many lines as there are on your palm. Some are deep and long, some are hard to even see. Some lines run the whole distance....
For some people, our new world of pandemic-required isolation has meant more time with loved ones, a welcomed slowing down, and maybe a little more sleep.
And for others, the strain of trying to work from home with the kids around, working on the front-line jobs, the loss of connection, or watching loved ones suffer is taking a toll.
Maybe it's all true at the same time. Which can lead to feeling happy and grateful one day and weepy and worried the next. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
This week, I start a new video-interview series called "Better than Surviving: How to Stay Emotionally Well in the Time of COVID-19. I'll gather experts who are steeped in the research and work focused on thriving and what it takes: yes, even in a pandemic. Through these interviews, we'll bring you practical ideas along with emotional support and a big dose of inspiration to get us through this time stronger and ready for whatever comes next.
Although I am socially isolating, I'm doing my best to stay in touch with people. More than one person has said that they were kind of feeling cozy and enjoying being at home. In such a difficult time, there’s a bit of guilt that goes along with enjoying this time of isolation. Because although isolating can be challenging—even harrowing—the truth is that for some, it's not all bad.
Let me acknowledge that it is quite bad for many. Some who isolated folks are working with depression and anxiety and isolation is the wrong recipe for being well.
And the people who are suffering with the actual virus and their families, times are tough. Also, for people who are not able to socially isolate because we need them. We can all send our gratitude and our support and our care to the sick and the people on the front lines, especially in health care. But all over, people are working in jobs because we need them, and they cannot...
by Anne O'Connor
Sleep solves so many problems. And the more irregular and infrequent your sleep, the more problems you have.
I'm not just talking about sniping at the people you love and being unpleasant to be around—although I am talking about that. Don't sleep and your relationships are going to stink. That's the real deal. If you find yourself regularly cranky, irritable and short-tempered, you may want to consider more sleep. Your people certainly want you to.
It's more than our relationships that are affected though. Not getting enough sleep can contribute to all kinds of other problems—everything from being overweight, to lower libido, a host of illnesses and car crashes. Plus, people being sleep-deprived has been linked to some of the most serious accidents in memory—Chernobyl, the Exxon Valdez crash, and the space shuttle Challenger accident. Some research shows that people who sleep less die earlier. With...
Who actually gets everything they need from their parents? Almost no one. Is there anything worse?
Well, passing all that didn't work on to our kids or others we love...ugh.
Today, I tell my story about going to hell--first with my father and then, as so often happens, with my own children. And how we all found the way back.
There's never been a better reason for me to become a better person than my children.
Take a look at today's video and sign up for my email list so you won't miss this amazing offer we're putting together for you.
Thanks for being here!
love to you and your favorite people,
When you "submit," you'll get an email asking for confirmation that you want to be on the mailing list. Which, of course, you do. Happy to have you here!